mommy track

You are not a world changer, you chose the mommy track. Self-talk. There are days, oh are there ever days, that I believe this to be true. Usually it’s  on the days when I’m doing three consecutive loads of laundry, when I stumble over a plastic banana yellow giraffe, or clean out dirty baby bottles for the umpteenth time at 6AM on a Saturday morning.

Which, speaking of Saturday mornings, last Saturday we went on a morning walk (you know, after I finished washing the baby bottles). My little girl took a tumble and let out a scream heralding the end of the world. My usual inclination is to sweep her up into my arms. My husband though did something different. He handed her a little red flower. Her tears stopped suddenly as she intently gazed at the crimson blossom considering whether or not to pop it into her mouth. She gave us a smile that rivaled the sun. A flower. She found comfort in a flower. And that is when it hit me.

My daughter thinks the world is pretty wonderful and so do I.

I chose the mommy track but motherhood does not limit my life.   In fact, as a mom,  I am an agent of change. I have to be. Because when I look into the eyes of my children, I see the whole world staring back.

I see refugees fleeing South Africa and Syria, I see the water crisis in Flint, I see the abominable wall Republican candidate Trump wants to build, I see “Turkey is not safe”, I see children living in war torn areas of Congo, and I see the rebuilding of Nepal. I also see the hope of heaven staring back at me from my daughter’s speckled hazel eyes.

In that moment I learned something about the mother-heart of God and I suddenly knew that I knew that I knew. There is peace enough to cover the whole world and I want it to begin with me, “Mommy”.

 

messy moments

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I successfully stayed off social media for one week. Well, okay, except for maybe one teeny tiny Instagram post late last night. Life is too precious to always be picture perfect. I catch myself running around the house cleaning instead of cuddling on the couch with Alma or racing paper airplanes with my seven year old stepson, Elijah. This weekend each time I caught myself trying to make everything in my home “picture perfect”, I instead stopped and looked around for a moment to enjoy. Learning how to rest, is my challenge right now.  I am learning how to rest in the promise that, at the end of the day, it’s not all up to me. God is my provider, He is a good Father who delights in His children, and He gives rest to those He loves. It’s not all up to me and God never intended my life to be picture perfect. In fact, I think He often times delights in the “messy moments” most. I know I sometimes do. My weekend was filled with cozy hearths, dirty laundry, paper airplane races, and avocado apple juice stains. And I am learning to love every, single, moment. Especially the messy ones.

1-2 If God doesn’t build the house,
    the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn’t guard the city,
    the night watchman might as well nap.
It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late,
    and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don’t you know he enjoys
    giving rest to those he loves?

Psalm 127:1- 2, The Message version

raíces

“It’s not money that makes you well-dressed – it’s understanding” – Christian Dior It’s my prayer that my little girl understands where she comes from and so today, along with this embroidered peasant blouse, she will also wear her mother’s whispered prayer. I pray, little girl, you grow up knowing your raíces.  You are two parts Mexican… Continue reading raíces