Can I tell you something? This past month has not been easy. My Grandma recently passed away. She went peacefully in her sleep at 92 years old. This, I am thankful for. I know she was ready. She once asked me what I thought heaven was like. I think going to heaven is a lot like going home. The kind of home where relief and love usher you into a safe space of belonging and where everything is tenderly familiar. I thought I was ready to see her off on this voyage but it’s been difficult.
Swiftly on the back of this loss came an insect invasion making our home a less than ideal place to be. Termites, spiders, silver fish, cockroaches, German cockroaches, fleas, centipedes, fleas, and at one point we even thought we had bed bugs. We don’t, praise the Lord. But it was a scary moment. I have a newfound appreciation for pest control companies. God truly bless the Orkin Man.
Then came two back to back car accidents. I was turning into my driveway and a car came from behind and broadsided my vehicle as I made the left turn. The very next day my daughter was driving with her aunt when a car rear-ended them at a stop sign.
The pest problem has been resolved. Praises. The cars are getting fixed and, thanks to a skilled chiropractor, everyone involved in the accidents are on the mend.
October is usually my favorite month of the year. For me, October is the personification of the preparation for harvest, beautiful autumn, and the official beginning of the fall and winter holidays. I love the changing of the tides and seasons. This year though the turning of the tides seems to have come violently, causing upheaval. A premeditated attack on peace. It’s taken resolve to steady my heart; standing in opposition to anxiety was an uphill battle.
And I thought I was losing the fight. Then, last night, I went back and took a look at recent photos. I realized that perhaps I am standing on higher ground than I thought; maybe the whirlwind didn’t distract me from moments of true joy afterall . Early this morning, with the silent light of dawn came the tender whisper,
sometimes, while in the thick of it, you don’t realize just how skilled a solider you actually are.
In front of Gram’s house.
Autumn in Silverlake
La calavera catrina de mi cuñado
Alma at the pumpkin patch
Alma and her goats