When I first began this project I didn’t quite know where it would lead. I think I understand better now. These pictures, the white face and black tears, are a picture of how I felt. Not so much now but before. For a time there was, as C.S. Lewis describes it, “a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me”. I used to let life happen to me. I didn’t know I was my ship’s captain. I was not given a say whether my mom lived or not. I was sentenced to a life without her and, unable to alter the course of this current, I surrendered authority, decision-making, and trust. Passivity, confusion, and disbelief became my chosen instruments of navigation. When my mom died, north was lost, and life was governed by my heart’s faulty moral compass. Stormy seas.
How fortunate, how grateful I am that one much stronger than I walked the water’s surface, through the storm, to still the sea. Now I can see the sun. I’m beginning to love sailing.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,