There was a time soon after my divorce that I withdrew from the world. I closed off my heart to everyone. Even though I made the decision to leave my marriage, after I left I felt as though I had been abandoned. With this sentiment at the forefront of my mind I held very little faith in people and in the comfort and understanding I thought they could offer. I mistrusted those who had stood by me all my life, in fact, they were the ones I distrusted most. I wasn’t about to allow my heart to be broken again, I wasn’t about to let someone get close to me just to have them leave.
I began building sturdy walls around my heart that I thought were for protection. In the end these same walls became a prison. I wanted to let people in again but the walls I built were too high and too strong and I was too wounded and weak. I needed help breaking free from the prison I placed myself in. So I cried out to God again and I began learning what perfect love and perfect understanding looks like.
Gently, tenderly, He began removing one building block at a time. Sooner than I’d ever have imagined possible my walls came tumbling down.
Now that I am able to once again open my heart to others my hope is to begin restoring and strengthening those bonds stretched thin by my emotional isolation. To my family, especially to one very special person, I want to say that I’m sorry. I love you forever.
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Dear World, I wish you closeness and comfort.